Last year I was terrified of wearing a bikini. I remember standing in front of the mirror at home and scrutinising every inch of my body, terrified of all the possible negative outcomes that might arise from me wearing a bikini in public. (You can read about that by CLICKING HERE) This year I literally felt like a completely different person. So much so, that when I recall how I felt last year, it feels as if I am literally thinking about someone else, not me.

Yesterday my niece, (one of my best friends daughter), turned two, and we celebrated it with a big lunch, and a fun afternoon by the pool, This is what I wore. I wasn't sure if I should wear my orange bikini bottom, or my hot pink bikini bottom, so I reached out to my followers on Instagram for help, and hot pink was the winner, hands down! (Thank you to everyone who commented! You guys are the best!) And of course, I listened! I felt fabulous in my hot pink bikini bottoms and white strapless bikini top* yesterday. I have every right to feel that way about myself, no matter what size I am*, and so do you!

In stark contrast to last year, this year I was just excited about going to the pool, and being in excellent company. The idea of wearing a bikini was nothing to me. The day before, I spent a little time deciding which colour to wear, but I didn't ponder over my flaws at all. Nor did I worry about what other people might think about my fat body being (somewhat) publicly paraded around in a bikini. I guess somewhere along the line it hit me that I am not accountable for other people's level of comfort (and judgment) when they are faced with seeing my fat body exposed or otherwise. 

Other people's ideas and feelings are not my responsibility, even if they are about me. Really understanding that fully, has certainly helped me feel a lot more confident about my size over the years. - Now more than ever. It's certainly true that recently I've been eating healthier again, and I've started to lose weight as a result. My waist is now a little more defined. My tummy is now a little less bloated. However, I'm still a big girl and publicly wearing a bikini at the size that I am now*, could have attracted negative attention, which fortunately it didn't. 

If you are thinking about wearing a bikini, then just do it. Don't worry about the haters. Focus on who and what makes you truly happy from the inside out, and just go with it. Being completely true to yourself, is the secret to true happiness.

OUTFIT DETAILS: Strapless white bikini top - El Corte Inglés | High waisted hot pink bikini bottom - Calzedonia

*If you are wondering, I wear a UK dress size 20-22, and an E/F cup bra.
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