I really love shirt dresses and shirt-like dresses. They are so simple to style, and comfortable to wear. Depending on who is wearing them, they can look super sexy in an understated way. I don't think there is anything sexy about this look on me, at all, I'm just saying, I've seen other women make this type of outfit look sexy.

This dress was dirty cheap, but it doesn't look it. Or feel it. Neither does this outfit - yet everything (except my bag) was bought on a budget. The reason it doesn't look as cheap as it really is, is because of the simplicity of it all. Ostentatious displays of wealth almost always looks cheap and tacky. This look, by spanish standards, is daytime casual chic. You see many women in Madrid walking around in this style of dress. It's the sort of outfit a woman can wear at almost any age and look nice. I love outfits like that. 

A lot of us plus size women complain that most of the options we have in our size is frumpy and aimed at older women. I agree that that is what is abundant and most readily available in physical shops. If it wasn't for online shops, I'm not sure where we would be. It would be amazing if really cool fashionable clothes were readily available in plus sizes at every high street shop. Sadly, this isn't the case yet; but the more we fight for our right to wear whatever we want at any size, the more the plus size industry will grow. High street retailers need our money, but at the same time, there's a lot of plus size women out there who need the confidence to break free of their comfort zone, and experiment with clothes they wouldn't normally reach for, because we have been taught that as plus size women, we cannot wear certain clothes, styles, fabrics, prints, etc. We are taught from an early age that if we want to be accepted, loved, and successful, we must either be slim, or dress to appear slimmer.

I'm going to digress for a moment, because this idea that anyone can wear whatever they like, and that not everybody dresses to look slimmer, seems to confuse those who do, when it shouldn't. I never got to play dress up as a child. There was no reason for it not to happen, other than I was an only child, and my mum never thought of buying me costumes to play with. And I don't think I ever asked for any either. I always had lots of dolls, and they always had lots of spare clothes, so I guess that was my version of dress up as a small child. Growing up, I was never allowed to choose my own clothes. Even as a teenager. For the most part, my mum made me wear 'safe' clothes that would make me look slimmer. The quality of those clothes was amazing, but the style was frumpy or childish, and being tall and curvy, I just looked silly in these clothes. My mum had a hard time accepting the fact that I was growing up and becoming an adult, so it was a real uphill battle to transition into more fashionable, adult clothes. It killed me to be forced to wear clothes that I didn't like, and I was flat out told that it was for my own good, because I was too fat to wear the clothes I actually liked. It was her way of protecting me.

I was a teenager in London during the mid-1990s. Everyone looked fashionable, except me. I remember that belly buttons were out all over the place. I would spend hours looking at magazine models and celebrities wishing I was thin, just so I could wear nice clothes. I would spend ages looking at Britney Spears and wishing I was slim so I could have a tummy like hers, and that way I could wear belly tops too. Not being able to wear what I wanted was something that killed me inside, and contributed very much to my having been so severely bullied at school. Not to mention how much I used to hate my body and being fat. I honestly felt ugly and disgusting. I was ashamed of how I looked and my size. I never rebelled either, so this is my rebellion, and I hope it never ends. In my next post, I'll go into that story in more depth, because I have so much to say on that topic. I would especially like to reach out to mothers of plus size daughters. Just so I can tell them that by body shaming, or fat shaming their daughters in the hope that they will be slim, doesn't work, and it's not healthy. Body shaming someone into an ideal body weight or aesthetic is abusive and has serious negative consequences. 

I find so much pleasure in taking trends that people say plus size women can't look good in, and making them work for me. Not everybody is going to like what I wear, but when we live to please others regardless of how we feel, our lives just pass us by miserably. So now I wear what I like. Sometimes it really bugs me when well meaning friends and family try to give me fashion advice on how to dress for my shape and size. Or that how I dress is wrong, and that I look bad. It doesn't happen so much with my friends in London, but it does happen a lot with quite a few of my friends in Madrid. I know they mean no harm. They are coming from a place of love - just like it did with my mother when I was growing up. But there is something that people seem to be oblivious to. When we are happy with the decisions we make for ourselves, we glow. And that glow, is the most beautiful thing a person can have. I'm not here to tell you what to do or what to wear. If you want to follow all the safe fashion rules, go ahead. That is your prerogative. I choose to wear what I like and feel comfortable in, and nobody should ever be denied that right. It's something that to me is as basic as the need to breathe oxygen, or drink water. So next time someone wants to give you some well meaning advice, shrug if off, be yourself, and glow! 

OUTFIT DETAILS: Dress - Primark | Bag - Hakei | Wedges - Evans | Necklace - Tu y 4



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