Yesterday I met up with my friend Cristina to go shopping. What started out as two friends hanging out to have a giggle as they shopped, turned into a nightmare that had me frustrated and very close to tears. Cristina was looking for a bikini, and I was hoping to find a good bargain on some lingerie. I knew I would probably have a harder time than her, since I am plus size and she isn't, but I wasn't expecting the day to turn out as it did at all. Cristina is a petite girl, yet almost everything we found, was too small even for her. I realized that underwear out here which is made for adults, is mostly being made in what I consider to be child sizes. That was both disturbing and devastating. It had been years since shopping had led to making me feel sad, or tearful, but it was certainly an eye opener! These photo of me below are from last week, (please excuse me the mortal sin of using different size images), from a party I went to, and I honestly don't think I look particularly busty, which made how yesterday went, even more frustrating for me.

The first place went to was El Corte Inglés. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that is, it's a department store here in Madrid, and it's famous for being both expensive, and the go-to place to find almost anything you might be looking for. I knew I probably wouldn't buy anything from there, but I didn't expect to find what I found. Almost everything was child sized, despite being made for women. Anything that was made in realistic womanly sizes, was ugly and frumpy. The only thing I saw that I liked, was in a horrible peachy colour, but it would have been perfect if it had come in black. So long story short, I found nothing. My friend Cristina, (in the photo below), is tiny, and everything in the shop was too small, even for her. If a woman her size is 'too big' to fit into these clothes, what can the rest of us expect?

Then we headed to C&A. I found these really cute bras, and I grabbed the biggest sizes available. Cheerfully, I headed to the changing room with quit a few bras in hand, only to end up wanting to cry. These bras were pretty big, and I expected them to fit. They look small in this picture, but they were very big.

So there I stood. Staring at myself in the mirror. The bra fit perfectly around my body, but my girls were spilling out over the top. I wanted to cry. I looked at the bras, and I just thought, "My breasts are not that big... are they?" I mean, I'm not flat chested, and I know I am not thin, but an E cup is too small for my girls? I just can't! I quickly took off the first bra I tried on, got back into my own clothes, and left the shop empty handed, on the verge of tears. We wondered into several other shops, on the hunt for a bikini for Cristina, but we found nothing big enough for her. - And remember, she is tiny thin.

I don't know what horrified more. Finding that an E cup bra is too small on me, or the realization that thin women in Madrid have the same struggles as big women, when trying to find lingerie big enough to fit them. I guess my only option now, is to try online plus size lingerie shops, which I have wanted to avoid. Is it really too much to ask to be able to walk into a shop, and be spoiled for choice at every size?
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