VIDEO POST - Gold, Purple & Red Night Out MakeUp | Fighting Social Anxiety

I am so happy to announce that I uploaded another makeup video to my youtube channel today. In this video, I'm sharing my makeup look from Friday night with you. I know, I've mentioned before, that I am not going too much into my personal life on here, on purpose. But I am working on making a few personal changes, and these changes have led to so many good things that would never have happened otherwise, and I think it is only fair to share - at least to some degree - so that maybe I can inspire anyone out there who is in the same situation, and who would like to make changes too. You see, this month I set myself the personal challenge of making an active effort to be more sociable from now on. I am very shy and cautious around new people in social settings, (not work settings for some strange reason), and I really need to change that.

The only way to change anything, is to confront it hands on. And guess what? I did it! I am doing it. And I have surprised and surpassed myself, and it feels so good fantastic. I've been out there mingling, even introducing myself to strangers, when I have never been an ice breaker type. And I haven't felt awkward about it like I used to. This is an amazing change! - Don't get me wrong. It's not like I was a hermit until now; or a Becky-no-mates. I was just sticking to my safe group of well known friends, and avoiding meeting new potential friends outside of that circle. When I sat down to think about it objectively, I had to face the fact that as a batchelorette in her early thirties, who has no strings attached, who can do as she pleases, I need to take full advantage of my freedom, and challenge my 'fear' and distrust of new people. It's just not healthy. I know the reasons why I am so shy and distrusting. Most of it comes down to the extreme school bullying I experienced throughout my entire childhood and teenage years.

I'm not talking about trivial name calling. I'm talking about non stop vicious, cruel and extremely aggressive abuse at the hands of other children like myself. For all those years I thought there was something wrong with me, but I didn't know what. I didn't realize that there was only something very wrong with the bullies who hurt me, and the cowards who either turned a blind eye or sided with the bullies out of fear. I've forgotten a lot of what happened back then now, and I think I'm pretty confident now-a-days. Subconsciously however, I guess I don't have complete closure. In any case, I am an adult now, and nobody is bullying me today. I am in control of my life, but being in control doesn't have to mean pushing strangers away in case they hurt you somehow. So I've pushed myself to get out there and start being proactive about expanding my social circle. Even if it's just about making new acquaintances. It's never too late to join a group, a club, or a class, and start opening doors for yourself. I have no expectations of the people who I'm meeting on this journey, but it's nice to push your boundaries and let go of your fears, whether they be subconscious or not. So that's exactly what I'm doing, and it feels amazing. This time it really is me, not them. This is one habit I must keep up!

I also have to keep YouTube up - and it helps that the two kind of go hand in hand. I am finally getting round to making more of those makeup videos I had been wanting to make for so long. Pushing myself to be more sociable gives me more of an excuse to wear makeup more often, which makes making these videos easier. I don't have to make time to apply makeup just for the sake of a video. These are looks I am actually wearing to go out. I just have to film myself doing makeup however I plan to wear it that day. I had so much fun filming this video, and afterwards, when I was editing it, I learned so many new things about how to edit videos. It was also wonderful to not have iMovie crash on me (at all) during the editing process, - unlike with my old Mac. (RIP Mac number one). I know it probably sounds silly, but I felt so extremely excited when I managed to figure out how to do some cool new video editing tricks I'd seen in other people's videos and had always wondered how they did it.

I thoroughly enjoyed making this video, and I am looking forward to getting better at it and hopefully making my future videos shorter, but very informative. I am already planning my next lot of videos. In them, I am going to challenge myself, and I am going to explore new makeup tricks and products. I don´t wear makeup everyday like I used to, so my skills are slightly rusty; but I can improve. I guess everyone can improve, really. I used to wear makeup every day in my 20s. Now I wonder how I managed it. I would love to be able to commit to one video a week, but I don't know if that's a realistic expectation yet. It all depends on my new job which I will be starting next week, but I promise I will mkae the effort.

My current job, (I am a school teacher), ends on Friday when my present contract runs out; and then I will start at a completely new job on Monday. I feel so blessed to have work so soon; especially one that pays better than my current job. It's not a teaching job at all, so I won't be bringing work home with me, or spending money on my job anymore. I'm hoping, in theory, that that will mean more time and money for me to not only go out and mingle, but to be able to make and edit more videos! I also need to learn more about how my Canon ESO 700D works, and sort out my lighting. Oh, the lighting! Tsk Tsk!

I don't think it's necessary to list the products I used to create this look here in this post, since I showed them all as I went along in the video, but if anyone has any specific questions, ask away!

And without further a do, here is the video:

Please remember to watch in HD!

Until next time Beauties, xox

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